Are you f’ing kidding? Oh, and Happy Birthday to me!

I turned 64 a couple of days ago – and like Sally O’Malley would say, “I’m not one of those gals who likes to hide her age.” I couldn’t care less who knows how old I am, because I think I’m doing pretty well for myself. I can still “kick, stretch, and kick” and remember the important things (where I hid that cigarette, where I hid that tequila, where I hid those chocolate covered raisins from Costco, and (sometimes) where I left my cellphone).

So, thinking about this whole “getting older” thing, I decided to take a look at Google to get a feel for what I could look forward to. And according to today’s Google Alert results for “elderly” here’s what’s coming my way:

And the winner:

Really? This is what I have to look forward to? Hell no! I’m not falling for it (and I’m not falling yet either!). I’m going to write this blog and MAKE headlines like,

  • Elderly woman poses as 7-year-old, calls Walgreen’s to demand they let Prince Albert” out of the can
  • 86-year-old former infectious disease expert finds cure for COVID-19
  • Elderly woman tells children, “Keep your $885,000 … I’m spending your inheritance”
  • Those Zumba classes really paid off!” says elderly woman at casino who thwarts robbery with well-placed “kick balls, change” to the groin
  • Elderly Perth man saves four who abandon sinking vessel off Cable Beach in Broome
  • Elderly man swats housefly, transforms into “Jeff Goldblum, Superhero

According to population estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau, as of July 1, 2019 (the latest date for which population estimates are available) there are 71.6 million people in the US between the ages 55 and 73 (Baby Boomers) – and just over 55 million age 65+ (no thanks to you, stupid COVID-19). And you just can’t convince me that we’re only dying of viruses, getting scammed by assholes pretending to work for the DOJ, or blowing things up.

This blog is NOT going to be depressing. It’s going to focus on all of the great things about being older and, at times, try to find some humor in the things that aren’t so great. Most of all, I hope it will be a place for you to talk about YOUR thoughts and questions about this time of our lives.

I’ll find experts to answer your questions, I’ll ask your opinion, and I’ll make sure you’re not invisible! I hope you’ll join me for this fun adventure!

  1. I loved THE NAME GAME- 🎶 Shirley Shirley boberley Bonana fana foferley Fee fi momerley SHIRLEY 🎶 B

  2. Nik, you are Mom’s living legacy: a brilliant, lively, hilarious writer and artist. She lives on in so many ways.

  3. OMG, I am rolling on the floor from your “O!” I remember when your mother walked in as I was…

2 thoughts on “Are you f’ing kidding? Oh, and Happy Birthday to me!

  1. I stumbled on this after reading Next Pittsburgh. Wow! You are really good! Love your style. I’m 62 this year and you hit the nail on the head. But what else would I expect from someone with the name Zacharias.

    Looking forward to more!
    Laurie ZACHARIA MacDonald

    Like

    1. Thanks so much, Laurie!! That’s awesome that you’re following NYD! Please let me know if there’s anything you’d like to read/hear/watch about. BTW, I do have a BFF with the last name of Zacharias, but that’s not me. Hope that doesn’t change your opinion. If it does, I’ll consider changing my name 😀

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s