Category: Pandemic Fun

I See Some Bad News Rising

On By NotYetDeadIn General, Health, Pandemic Fun, Uncategorized2 Comments

Since May is Mental Health Awareness month, this seems like the perfect time to talk about something that definitely affects how many milligrams of Lexapro I need: negative news. 

Here’s a perfect example; today I woke up to this headline:

Pollution can be 5 to 10 times worse in your home than outside. Here’s what to do about it

Now, call me Pollyanna but has anyone else noticed that AS SOON AS something relatively good happens in the world, we’re immediately BASHED with something bad? Like, I’m just starting to feel somewhat safe walking through the grocery store parking lot without a mask (Vaccine 1 – check; vaccine 2 – check; two-week waiting period – check) and BLAM, now I might be able to go outside somewhat cautiously but I can’t go back inside because my house is going to kill me.

Is it just me?

In case you think I’m overestimating the proliferation of bad news, just take a look at some of the statistics in this March 2021 Letter.ly post, “16 Eye-Opening Negative News Statistics You Need to Know.” (FYI these statistics are based on results from studies and reports that have analyzed the issue and provide an “unbiased look at why the media reports negative news.”)

  1. Approximately 90% of all media news is negative. (Quora)
  2. Sensational stories form 95% of media headlines. (The Guardian)
  3. Nielsen ratings are at fault for 50% of negative news statistics. (The Balance Careers)
  4. 38% of Americans believe the media exaggerated the COVID-19 coverage. (Pew Research Center)
  5. Approximately 1 in 10 American adults checks the news every hour. (Time)
  6. A website lost 66% of its readers when it published positive stories for a day. (Quartz)
  7. Studies show that headlines with bad news catch 30% more attention. (Kinder)
  8. Reports show 65% of news organizations ignore mistakes. (The New York Times)
  9. Around 26.7% of people that are exposed to negative news go on to develop anxiety. (NCBI)
  10. An average of 79% of media companies print biased stories for advertisers. (ScienceDirect)
  11. Headline manipulation has been proven to double readership. (IndustryWeek)
  12. People are 49% more likely to read something negative than positive. (NCBI)
  13. 63% of kids aged 12–18 say that watching the news makes them feel bad. (Common Sense)
  14. Most people blame the public for the popularity of negative news headlines. (Quora)
  15. 79% of Americans believe media articles are not balanced in their arguments. (Pew Research Center)
  16. 87% of the COVID-19 coverage in 2020 was negative. (The New York Times)

So, about that 87% …

Even though any bad news is … bad news, I’m generally able to maintain some perspective before I start writing my obituary. I might be freaked when I read, “C.D.C. Issues E. Coli Warning on Romaine Lettuce Ahead of Thanksgiving,” but at least I can find out (sure, it takes me EIGHT PARAGRAPHS TO GET THERE!) who the manufacturer is, what the sell-by date is, and that “The products identified are already significantly past their use-by dates, so this voluntary recall most likely does not affect any product currently on store shelves.”

Good to know … maybe next time tell me that in the first paragraph?

But, when we’re talking about a GLOBAL PANDEMIC and a new strain of virus that has not ever been identified in humans, it’s pretty hard to maintain perspective. So if 87% of the coverage of that virus is negative, it’s no wonder that “more than 42% of people surveyed by the US Census Bureau in December reported symptoms of anxiety or depression in December, an increase from 11% the previous year.”

David Leonhardt’s New York Times weekday newsletter, “The Morning” first brought that 87% statistic to my attention. In his March 24, 2021 (updated April 22, 2021) article “Bad News Bias,” Mr. Leonhardt refers to a working paper published by the National Bureau of Economic Research, “Why Is All COVID-19 News Bad?” by Bruce Sacerdote, Ph.D., an economics professor at Dartmouth College, and undergraduate fellow researchers Ranjan Sehgal (Dartmouth College), and Molly Cook (Brown University). 

In this study, Dr. Sacerdote and his colleagues analyzed the tone of COVID-19 related English-language news articles written since January 1, 2020 (written articles and transcripts were analyzed from television sources). They focused on the subtopics of COVID-19 vaccines, increases and decreases in case counts, and reopenings (businesses, schools, parks, restaurants, government facilities, etc.).

Here’s a few things they discovered: 

  • The most popular stories in The New York Times, CNN, and the BBC have high levels of negativity for all types of articles but particularly for COVID-19-related articles.
  • 87% of stories in the major U.S. news sources are negative versus 50% for non-U.S. major sources and 64% for scientific journals and that “the negativity does not respond to changes in new cases.”
    • Potentially positive developments receive less attention in U.S. than do negative stories. 
  • Negativity appears to be unrelated to the political leanings of the newspapers or network’s audience.
    • COVID-19 stories from all major U.S. outlets have high levels of negativity and the variation that does exist is not correlated with readers’ political leanings. 
  • Among U.S. major media, 15,000 stories mention increases in caseloads while only 2,500 mention decreases (a 6 to 1 ratio) During the period when caseloads were falling nationally (April 24 to June 27) the ratio remains relatively high (5.3 to 1)
  • U.S. major media are 38% more likely to be negative in vaccine articles relative to non-U.S. general media, and the gap in vaccine article negativity between U.S. major media and all other sources remained even after vaccines were approved for use (November 2020). 
    • The U.S. major media outlets ran 1,371 stories that mention COVID-19 vaccines and any names of the top ten institutions or companies working on a COVID-19 vaccine, while during the same period they ran 8,756 stories involving Trump and mask wearing, and 1,636 stories about Trump and hydroxychloroquine.
  • In the examination of school reopenings and U.S. major media consumption, the authors found that the strong negative correlation (across counties) between school reopenings and consumption of U.S. major media appears to be driven by selection rather than causality. 
    • Scientists collecting data on school reopenings have found that infection rates among students remain low and schools have not become super-spreaders; however, these positive findings are not reflected in the “overwhelmingly negative” U.S. major media. 86% of school reopening articles from U.S. major media are negative versus 54% for English-language major media in other countries.
  • The U.S. media outperform the non-U.S. media in promoting prosocial behavior (five percent of COVID-19 articles in major U.S. outlets mention the benefits of mask wearing compared to .6 percent for non-U.S. outlets and 2% for general U.S. sources), “though perhaps because such messages are more needed in the U.S.”
  • Demand for negative news is strong in U.S. and other countries. Considering more than 5000 Facebook shares during 2019 and 2020, heavily shared CNN, Yahoo!, MSN, and BBC articles are all very negative in tone, with the U.S. sourced articles being just as negative in 2019 (pre-COVID) as in 2020.

Wait, but why?

In their study, Dr. Sacerdote and colleagues ask, “why are the U.S. major media so much more negative than international media and other outlets?” While their study shows demand for negative stories is quite strong in the U.S. and the U.K. among readers of The New York Times, CNN, and BBC, they find that “U.S. news outlets are more likely to cater to the demand for negativity than are international outlets.”

The authors suggest three possible explanations:

  1. Most of the non-U.S. markets in their sample include a dominant publicly owned news source that is the #1 news source in their countries: BBC (England); CBC (Canada); ABC (Australia). The publicly owned sources may follow a different objective function than private news providers.
  2. U.S. media markets are less concentrated than media markets in other OECD countries which may cause U.S. major media companies to use negativity to attract audiences.
  3. The U.S. Federal Communication Commission eliminated its fairness doctrine regulation in 1987 which required broadcasters to provide adequate coverage of public issues and fairly represent opposing views (the U.K. and Canada maintain such regulations). While this may be a reason why we see more partisan bias in U.S. media, it may also explain why U.S. news providers feel justified in responding to their consumers’ high demand for negative news.

Which brings us back to Mr. Leonhardt who won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary, has worked at The New York Times since 1999, and offers some reasons for the cynical perspective many journalists take.

Sometimes … our healthy skepticism can turn into reflexive cynicism, and we end up telling less than the complete story.

David Leonhardt, The New York Times

“In the modern era of journalism — dating roughly to the Vietnam War and Watergate — we tend to equate impact with asking tough questions and exposing problems. There are some good reasons for that. We are inundated by politicians, business executives, movie stars and others trying to portray themselves in the best light. Our job is to cut through the self-promotion and find the truth. If we don’t tell you the bad news, you may never hear it.

“Sometimes, though, our healthy skepticism can turn into reflexive cynicism, and we end up telling something less than the complete story.”

Looking for bad news

With this information, it’s pretty easy to see how this negative news about COVID-19 has affected our mental health. What seems contradictory to me is our “demand” for bad news when we know it will affect our levels of anxiety and depression (and by “our” I mean whoever it is who’s “liking” and “sharing” the most depressing news ever!).

In the next post I’ll share some explanation for why we seek it out negative news, and what we can do to break that habit (and by “we,” please see definition above). 

And in the meantime, here’s some really great news … “Prancer the ‘Demonic Chihuahua’ Who Went Viral Finds Dream Forever Home.”

Image credit: Ariel Davis

Buy Stuff and Make Money – Win/Win!

On By NotYetDeadIn General, Pandemic Fun, Uncategorized4 Comments

We’ve scored another distinction, fellow Baby Boomers, having recently been recognized in the Wall Street Journal as “dominating” the online shopping market.  “Older Americans are increasingly buying groceries — and just about everything else — on the Internet, and those over 65 are now the fastest-growing category of e-commerce shoppers.”

And while I’m very proud of my contribution to this fact (I’m pretty sure Amazon is about to name me “Top Shopper of Needless Stuff”), I’m confused about why this is a surprise. 

Baby Boomers will be between the ages of 57-75 this year, 20-38 when Apple launched Macintosh in 1984, and 27-45 when the World Wide Web opened to the public. We’re not too old to have been a part of the technology revolution … Steve Jobs would be 66 if he were alive today. We have computers (granted we use laptops more than smartphones), we know how to access the Internet, we know how to buy things, we have more disposable income than younger generations, and since we’re older, we’re at greater risk for COVID-19 so we’re perfectly happy with social distancing. 

Heck yes, I’m shopping online!

But here’s what’s interesting – although Baby Boomers are kind of known for our frugality, we are not the most deal-savvy generation when it comes to online shopping. The Millennials have us there! 

Considering our growing propensity to shop online, shouldn’t we take a lesson from our Millennial mentors and start taking advantage of the many (!) sources for online savings?

And by many, I mean (way too) many!

There are hundreds (maybe billions – you know how I like to exaggerate!) of cashback apps, coupon apps, store apps, credit card points, and hybrid discount/cashback/points apps you can use when shopping online. It’s hard to choose which to use, and sometimes the discounts/cashback cancel each other out. So this won’t, by far, be a comprehensive list of each online savings source. Instead, I’ll share some apps that have good track records, unique features, and specific uses. 

Before we get there, though, consider Mike Brady’s important lesson: … caveat emptor, Greg! You might want to:

  • check out the privacy statements of any site on which you share your information (many like Capital One Shopping, Honey, etc.) keep track of the coupon codes that their members have successfully used. If you don’t like the idea of them tracking your online shopping and using that information to help other shoppers, you might want to pass.
  • consider checking with the Better Business Bureau or a site like Trustpilot before you decide to use any of these apps.
  • understand the payout period information (how much you can accumulate and when you’ll get “paid”). Will you receive a gift card? PayPal credit or credit to the site from which you’re purchasing? Check?
  • determine if certain store departments (like the one you want) are excluded from the deal.
  • find out if there’s a browser extension for the app so that your purchases are automatically be checked for savings.
  • keep in mind that stores only let you use one cashback or reward program per purchase, so you have to choose between programs like Rakuten, Honey, Capital One Shopping and others.

Coupons vs. Cashback vs. Best Price 

Another distinction necessary before we get to “the list” is that some sites offer coupons for a specific product (manufacturer’s coupon) or at a specific retailer stores coupon, some offer cash – a percentage of the purchase total before tax and after coupons, and some simply compare prices.

Ready to give it a whirl? Try something mainstream:

Capital One Shopping (formerly Wikibuy)

Capital One Shopping is a multi-talented browser extension and mobile app that saves you money when you shop by finding you the best deal for the product you’re purchasing. If there’s a better deal on another site, they’ll let you know, then you decide if you want to take advantage of that deal or if shipping, etc. makes it less valuable to you. You can also apply coupon codes that the app has found and earn rewards points that you can use to buy gift cards to popular stores like Groupon, eBay, or Staples. 

They also offer cool things like price drop notifications, additional deals when you link your credit cards, universal searches allowing you to comparison shop for a specific product from their website, a barcode scanner to use when you’re in a store to compare prices from the best online and physical retailers to let you know if you’re getting a good deal, and synchronization of between your smartphone and web browser (using the same email and password for each device).

Honey

Purchased by PayPal in 2019 for a whopping $4 billion, Honey automatically searches and aggregates user data for the best coupon or promo code on 40,000+ sites. You can also earn rewards with the Honey Gold program and redeem your “Gold” for gift cards at your favorite stores.

Honey offers a price history tool that allows you to see how much an item’s price has gone up and down in the past. Based on past trends, you can choose to buy now or wait for another drop. And that’s made easier by their Droplist, which allows you to add items and be notified when there’s a price drop.

Rakuten (formerly Ebates)

Rakuten is one of the biggest coupon sites on the web with a valuation of $1 billion but its biggest draw is the cashback program (up to 40% in some cases) for purchases made through over 2500 other sites, even when shopping in-store. You’ll also find double and triple cashback events around the main holiday seasons.

To date, Rakuten’s 12 million members in the U.S. have earned over $1 billion in cash at their favorite stores.

TopCashBack

Join more than 15 million members who earn on average $345 cashback a year and save money from all the top 4,400 online retailers with TopCashBack. Your rewards go directly to your bank account, PayPal, or gift cards.

Like most sites of this nature, the retailer gives TopCashBack a commission for sending you to their website and they pass 100% of this commission back to you. 

Cashback should track to your “Earnings” page within seven days of your purchase, but it isn’t ready to withdraw until the retailer’s return policy is over to confirm your cashback. Once the retailer has paid TopCashBack their commission for your purchase, they’ll make your cashback ‘payable’ and ready to withdraw.

ibotta

When you shop with ibotta, called the “new version of grocery store coupons,” you’ll earn cash whenever you shop, both online and in-store. ibotta pays you cash for your purchases and has paid out over $797 million in cash rewards to more than 35 million users since its founding in 2012.

You can also link store loyalty cards in the ibotta app and earn cash, enable “nearby store alerts” and be notified when you’re near an ibotta retailer, review deals on the app before you go shopping (or in the store if you forgot to review deals ahead of time) and browse available savings. Then, when you get home from the store, just pull the app back up, scan barcodes for eligible items, and take a photo of your receipt. After a short review, you’ll get the coupon value added to your account. Once you hit $20, you can withdraw to PayPal for cash.

Brad’s Deals

I love this one because of its story. In 2001, Brad Wilson was a cash-strapped college student who couldn’t believe the markup on textbooks. After finding cheaper prices online, he taught himself to build a website and started Brad’s Deals. Now, he leads a team who find the best deals on the Internet and blog on the latest in smart shopping.

With the promise of “Consumers first, always,” when you buy one of the site’s deals or use one of its coupons, they receive a small commission on the sale that doesn’t affect the price you pay (like most apps of this sort). Because you’re never buying directly from Brad’s Deals, they have no access to your order history or credit card information. 

Amazon Coupons

Despite being the queen of Amazon shopping, I had no idea that they offered coupons! Nothing overly complicated here but remember these are only for Amazon’s own products, and some of the deals are for Amazon Prime customers only.

Or try something a little different:

Swagbucks

Like the other programs, you can earn cash by purchasing products through the Swagbucks portal, but you can ALSO earn Swagbucks (called SBs) by participating in a variety of activities like taking surveys, watching videos, playing games, printing grocery coupons, and even just adding the browser extension. You can redeem your Swagbucks for gift cards, PayPal credits, cash, or donate them to one or more of the charities on their site (you choose which one). Swagbucks has been around since 2005 and has paid out more than $240 million in cash and free gift cards (they distribute more than 7000 per day). 

You’ll find lots of tips to increase your Swagbucks earnings with a simple Google search but don’t expect big earnings. If you like the idea of earning a little green while you’re watching tv, go for it.

iConsumer

iConsumer, a cashback/coupon/discount service, wants to share its value with its users. When you purchase with iConsumer, you earn shares of their publicly traded stock (RWRDP) as well as whatever deal their 2,400 stores offer. Your first purchase earns you at least 100 shares, subsequent purchases increase your “portfolio value” as does the referral program.

If you want to become a shareholder in a publicly traded company just by purchasing something you were going to purchase anyway, iConsumer might be the choice for you. Granted, as of today the price per share is $0.12, so you might do better just buying it outright and starting a trend on reddit. 

Coupons for a Cause

iGive.com and Coupon Cause are coupon sites that donate a portion of their commission to great causes. 

iGive does this by donating your rebate (whatever the store has agreed upon with iGive) to the cause you choose from more than 60,000 from local to worldwide on their site. Your cause receives the full donation percentage (listed on the iGive site) of the purchase price, excluding tax, shipping, or handling. iGive also offers great deals such as free shipping and discounts at select online stores. 

Coupon Cause gives shoppers deals and coupon codes available on the web, and they test the coupons to make sure they work. When you make a purchase with one of their coupons, they are paid a commission, part of which they then donate to various causes and charities around the world (including The National Alliance to End Homelessness, Feeding America, Charity: Water, City of Hope, CDC Foundation, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention). Unlike iGive, you cannot choose which charity will receive your donation, however they may offer you a better discount than iGive.

Confused about which to try? Start here:

Cashback Monitor

Since you can often only use one cashback program per purchase, and they often cancel out a coupon deal, it’s often best to choose one that will be the most beneficial and stick with it to increase your savings and payout period. And the easiest way to tell which app will give you the best cashback rewards is with Cashback Monitor.

This site tracks cashback rates and miles and points earning rates. So before you make a purchase, head there to find out the best portal to use to maximize your savings and rewards.

Happy shopping!

Nighty Night! How to Get the Sleep You Need

On By NotYetDeadIn Ask the Doctor, Health, Pandemic Fun, Uncategorized3 Comments

Are you getting 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night? 

Wait let me rephrase that  … are you over 55 and getting 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night without taking anything?

Because I’m not.

I used to. I’d fall asleep literally sitting up in bed with my Kindle in my hands. At some point, my husband would remove it (because he’s an insomniac), and I’d gain consciousness again 8-10 hours later. NOTHING happened in between. Total oblivion.

But lately, when I finally fall asleep (caffeine stopped, exercise done, Kindle down, lights out, post hot shower), I do so only to WAKE BACK UP anywhere from 1-4 hours later. And then, I’m in middle-of-the-night-psychotic hell. Here’s a little glimpse into what happens in my brain next:

Okay, okay, I’m NOT going to turn the lights on. I’m just going to breathe and relax. Did I turn the stove off? I’m sure I did, but should I check? Nah, I know it’s off. Okay, relax. Where’s the cat? Oh the cat… did I put the rug she pee peed on in the dryer? Is the dryer still on? I probably shouldn’t fall asleep with the dryer on. Dryer sheets. I need to add that to the grocery list … but what else do we need? Wait, where’s my husband? Is he okay? He’s probably just walking around, but maybe he went to check on the dryer/cat/grocery list and fell down and is hurt.

By that point, he’s usually back from whatever nightly perambulation he was on so I can go back to thinking about how I can’t fall asleep.

While it seems like fun to think about getting a text-pal in a time zone that’s 6-8 hours ahead of mine, the fact is that not getting enough sleep can have severe consequences on your physical and mental health … and I can’t afford either of those!

So, I did some checking into the most current research and information about insomnia – and if these suggestions don’t help you get sleep, just try reading this at bedtime – I’m pretty sure it can bore you into unconsciousness!!

What is insomnia?

According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, insomnia is defined as “persistent difficulty with sleep initiation, duration, consolidation or quality.”  It is more prevalent in older adults (30% to 48%), women (25%), and people with medical and mental health issues. (Oh, I am SO SCREWED!)

In a 2018 article entitled “What’s New In Insomnia Research,” Dr Dieter Riemann, the founder of the European Insomnia Network said, “Ultimately, insomnia rates have risen because there are so many more distractions in today’s society. It’s much harder to relax, to wind down, to shut out disturbing thoughts, and having a lot on your mind can interfere with how well you sleep.”

It’s much harder to relax, to wind down, to shut out disturbing thoughts, and having a lot on your mind can interfere with how well you sleep.

AND THAT WAS PRE-PANDEMIC!

Although I couldn’t find any research later than 2018, Google Trends affirms a dramatic increase in internet searches for insomnia as we’ve experienced the COVID-19 global pandemic. Studies are being discussed to determine whether an increase in insomnia symptoms as a result of the pandemic will persist and lead to higher rates of chronic insomnia (trouble falling asleep or staying asleep at least three nights per week for three months or longer).

Techniques for Overcoming Insomnia

CBT-I

For chronic insomnia in adults, guidelines published in 2016 by the American College of Physicians, and supported by the British Association for Psychopharmacology, and jointly the National Institute of Health and the Sleep Research Society recommend that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – Insomnia (CBT-I) as the first-line treatment.

CBT-I is a short, structured, and evidence-based approach to insomnia. The program typically takes 6-8 weeks and involves cognitive, behavioral, and education components that help you control or eliminate negative thoughts and actions that keep you awake, develop good sleep habits, and avoid behaviors that keep you from sleeping well. To find a practitioner, contact your physician, the Society of Behavioral Sleep Medicine or the American Board of Sleep Medicine.

Unfortunately, due to the widespread need for this treatment, there aren’t enough CBT-I professionals to meet the current demand. However, researchers have developed successful digital, group, and self-help formats as alternative ways to provide treatment.

In a year-long study (Northwestern Medicine and University of Oxford) involving 1,711 people, researchers found online cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) improved not only insomnia symptoms, but functional health, psychological well-being and sleep-related quality of life.

If you’re interested in participating in a study on the efficacy of online CBT-I, the Stanford University Sleep Health and Insomnia Program (SHIP) is recruiting participants. Click here for more information.

Behavioral changes

Not quite ready to try the structured approach with CBT-I? There are a LOT of other things you can do to help you fall asleep and stay asleep. So with an attitude of optimism, these are some of the easiest things you can try TONIGHT to help you get the sleep you need. 

Take a shower or bath and add aromatherapy
People who took baths or showers (even as short as 10 minutes) measuring between 104°F–108.5°F 1 to 2 hours before bedtime found that going from warm water into a cooler bedroom causes your body temperature to drop, naturally creating a sleepy feeling. Sleep-inducing aromatherapy ingredients for your bath can provide added benefit. Many are available already mixed, and you’ll find some great recipes here.

Try relaxing music
Various studies report that slow, soothing music can lower the heart rate and relax the body, reduce anxiety and stress, or simply distract from stressful thoughts that prevent sleep. Look for playlists that feature songs with an “ideal” tempo of 60-80 beats per minute on Spotify and other music resources.

Set an intentional “worry” time earlier in the day
Plan a 15-minute worry break during the day to process thoughts. During this time, you might consider writing a to-do list or thinking about solutions to your concerns. Actively working on this during the day will keep you from giving it space at night.

Start a gratitude journal
In a study of college students who reported insomnia, expressing gratitude in writing each evening at bedtime helped improve their sleep compared to baseline. 

Breathe Deeply
Breathing exercises are designed to bring the body to a more relaxed state by bringing down some functions that can make you anxious. Want to try some now? Download “Deep Breathing and Guided Imagery for Relaxation and Sleep” here.

Try imagery distraction
Studies show that guided imagery, where you are given a specific cognitive task (and involving all of your senses), can calm your body and relax your mind.  You can find many guided imagery scripts online and on apps such as Headspace, Calm, and Spotify. You can also download “Deep Breathing and Guided Imagery for Relaxation and Sleep” here.

Make your bedroom comfortable for sleep:
Be Cool
Our body temperature is cool while sleeping and warmer when we’re up. So the goal at night is to mimic that change in body temperature. Research advises setting your thermostat to 60–67°F at night.

Avoid clocks in your bedroom
People who have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep tend to focus on the time and the fact that it’s passing while they’re watching it – the perfect storm for anxiety and sleeplessness! Don’t look at the time in relation to your sleep routines. However if you need an alarm, turn the clock away from you or place your alarm clock where you can’t see it.

Don’t go to bed unless you are sleepy
Ultimately your goal will be to go to sleep and wake up at the same time each day (weekends included). BUT for now, you should not get in bed unless you are sleepy. By the way, you’re supposed to read that book (made of paper) in another room until you’re sleepy and THEN go to your bed. Reading IN BED is not allowed! Who knew?

If you don’t fall asleep within 20 minutes of turning off the lights, or if you wake up and can’t fall back asleep in 20 minutes, get out of bed and reset
Lying awake in bed for too long can “create an unhealthy mental connection between your sleeping environment and wakefulness.” Get up and try a “reset break.” During this time you should do something relaxing like read a book,, have a cup of camomile tea, or listen to relaxing music. The goal here is to shift your attention away from trying to go to sleep, which is NOT a relaxing exercise!

Bed is for sleep (and for some people – sex) not awake activities
It’s not your home office, so bringing your laptop, TV, and food into bed with you is a no no. Your bed should conjure feelings that are conducive to sleep, and research shows that these activities can trick our brains into thinking this space is for these activities and thereby training it to be more awake than sleepy in bed. If space is an issue (studio apartments, etc.) then use one side of the bed for sleep only, and the other side for other activities. This is a last-resort option!

Stick to a sleep schedule
While you’re aiming to go to sleep at the same time each night, it’s also important to wake up at the same time each day, regardless of the time you went to sleep at night. If you didn’t sleep well at night, chances are you’ll fall asleep more easily the subsequent night. Alternatively, if you allow yourself to stay in bed to “catch up,” you may find it difficult to go to sleep that night. 

Stay active
A great stress reliever, regular exercise has been shown to improve the quality of sleep. Research suggests that you get your exercise in at least three hours before you turn in.

Check your meds
Many medications can affect your sleep. Check with your physician or pharmacist to see if anything you’re taking might be causing your insomnia. 

Avoid or limit naps
Especially when you’ve had a bad night’s sleep, the temptation to take a nap can be powerful. But don’t. However if you just can’t avoid it, limit your nap to 30 minutes or less and don’t nap after 3 pm.

Don’t tolerate pain
If you have pain that is affecting your sleep, talk to your doctor about a pain reliever.

Be aware of when you need light, and when you need dark
Exposing your body to light, whether it’s natural light or a digital device (e-reader, phone, tablet, etc), tells it to be alert. Darkness, on the other hand, promotes a sense of sleepiness and boosts the natural production of melatonin. During the day, try to expose your body to natural or artificial light (light boxes work great). But at night, turn off digital devices and keep your bedroom as dark as possible. 

Focus on trying to stay awake
I’m not sure I’ll try this one … but some studies have shown that when you force yourself to feel sleepy, your chances of falling asleep decrease dramatically. However, although research is mixed, some studies have shown that people who try the “paradoxical intention” to stay awake tend to fall asleep faster. Let me know if this works for you!

Acupuncture
Some studies have shown that acupuncture may be a beneficial treatment for insomnia, but more research is needed. Ask your doctor how to find a qualified practitioner (unless you’re from my hometown … in which case I have a great name for you!)

Weighted blankets
A recent study of 120 adults published in the Sept. 15 issue of the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine found that weighted chain blankets are a safe and effective intervention in the treatment of insomnia. “A suggested explanation for the calming and sleep-promoting effect is the pressure that the chain blanket applies on different points on the body, stimulating the sensation of touch and the sense of muscles and joints, similar to acupressure and massage.”

Yoga or tai chi
Some studies suggest that the regular practice of yoga or tai chi can help improve sleep quality.

Avoid certain foods and drinks
A few hours before bed, avoid caffeine, alcohol, large meals, and foods that induce heartburn. However, consider eating (in moderation and earlier in the day) from these five food groups that support good sleep:

  • Eggs
  • Cheese
  • Nuts, especially almonds and walnuts
  • Fatty Fish
  • Teas, expecially chamomile

Prescriptions, OTC Medicines, and Herbal Treatments

FIRST, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR before you try any of these remedies.

Totally exempting myself from legal ramifications, prescription medications like Eszopiclone (Lunesta), Ramelteon (Rozerem), Zaleplon (Sonata), and Zolpidem (Ambien, Edluar, Intermezzo, Zolpimist) are often prescribed for insomnia although doctors prefer to limit their use to a few weeks because of side effects including balance issues, daytime drowsiness, and the concern of their habit-forming tendencies. 

Over-the-counter sleep aids
Because the Food and Drug Administration does not mandate that manufacturers show proof of effectiveness or safety before marketing dietary supplement sleep aids, talk with your doctor before taking any herbal supplements or other OTC products. Some products can have harmful interactions with certain medications.

Drugs like Benadryl,  Aleve PM, and Unisom contain antihistamines that can help you sleep but are not intended for regular use. Additionally, side effects including daytime sleepiness, dizziness, confusion, cognitive decline are possible, which may be worse in older adults.

Melatonin
Some research shows that the hormone melatonin can help reduce signs of jet lag and can help you fall asleep. Side effects can include headaches and daytime drowsiness. While generally considered safe, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine advises caution when using melatonin.

“Evidence-based recommendations published by the AASM indicate that strategically timed melatonin can be a treatment option for some problems related to sleep timing, such as jet lag disorder and shift work disorder. However, another clinical practice guideline published by the AASM suggests that clinicians should not use melatonin in adults to treat chronic insomnia, which is what many are experiencing during the pandemic.”

“Melatonin isn’t a ‘one-size-fits-all’ solution to nightly sleep trouble,” said Jennifer Martin, who has a doctorate in clinical psychology and is a member of the AASM board of directors and a professor of medicine at UCLA. “People who have difficulty sleeping should try making changes in their bedtime routine and environment first, and if that doesn’t help, or their insomnia becomes chronic, they should work with their medical provider to find the best treatment option.”

Valerian
There’s mixed study results on this plant-based supplement, but you should talk to your doctor before trying it. Some people who have used valerian in high doses or for a long time may have liver damage, although it’s not clear if valerian caused the damage.

One more thing to try
If you’re still having trouble falling asleep, try reading the articles in this list of resources. Let’s just say, I didn’t have any trouble falling asleep!! Now gey schluffen!

Resources:

The Anerican Academy of Sleep Medicine‘

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine (Facebook)

“Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)”

“The management of unwanted pre-sleep thoughts in insomnia: distraction with imagery versus general distraction”

Effects of Constructive Worry, Imagery Distraction, and Gratitude Interventions on Sleep Quality: A Pilot Trial

“Can Music Help You Sleep Better?”

“Google Trends reveals increases in internet searches for insomnia during the 2019 coronavirus disease (COVID-19) global pandemic”

“Behavioral interventions for insomnia: Theory and practice”

Mayo Clinic – Insomnia

“What’s New in Insomnia Research?”

“Sleep aids: Understand over-the-counter options”

“Weighted blankets can decrease insomnia severity”

“Insomnia symptoms, overall health improve with online insomnia program”

“What to do when you can’t sleep”

“Behavioral interventions for insomnia: Theory and practice”

“Healthy Sleep Habits”

“Five Foods That Support Good Sleep”

“Sleep tips during isolation: Preventing insomnia”

“Missing the mark with melatonin: Finding the best treatment for insomnia”

“Prevalence of chronic insomnia in adult patients and its correlation with medical comorbidities”

“One in four Americans develop insomnia each year: 75 percent of those with insomnia recover”

Insomnia (Sleep Foundation)

“Insomnia in the Elderly: A Review”

US Department of Health and Human Services – Women’s Health – Insomnia

Plastic Surgery Gift Certificates

On By NotYetDeadIn Looking Good, Pandemic Fun, Uncategorized3 Comments

I got an email the other day from a plastic surgery practice reminding me that if I’m ever unsure what to get “that special someone for their birthday, anniversary, or Valentine’s Day” I should give them the gift of beauty – a gift certificate for “a wide range of procedures, from non-surgical to surgical” that the gift card amount could be applied toward. 

At first, I thought, ooof, how could you give that to someone without them taking it as an insult? Oh man, I can just see THAT anniversary celebration:

My husband:

Me:

Does he think I “need work”?

If so, a $25 gift certificate doesn’t even come close to how expensive this stuff is … (but phew, I did a really good job of hiding that BOTOX receipt).

But if he gives me a really big gift certificate, does that mean he thinks I look like a Picasso painting and need an appointment immediately?

Yikes. This gift is just a disaster waiting to happen!

But wait. Let me be honest. 

While I totally appreciate and applaud women and men who are against doing a little “sumpin sumpin” every now and then, I’m not one of them.

I readily admit that while my skin may look pretty clear, it’s not that way naturally. Instead it’s the result of a tried and true skincare routine that my dermatologist recommended about 35 years ago (and like Queen E, I’ve been faithful to that routine).

And this hair? Guess what? I’m 64 years old … my hair isn’t really this color (just take a look at the two-toned action I have going on during the pandemic). Nope, it’s Melanie’s artistry and experience.

And although you may think that I have naturally smoky eyelids, ha! Fooled you again! That’s makeup! And not just makeup, but hours watching Dominique Sachse’s “Makeup Facelift” (and all her other videos too. She’s amazing!).

Yep, skincare, dyed hair, and makeup. So, are BOTOX, or fillers, or even, GASP, surgery such a big deal?  Well, I don’t think so. 

One thing I’ve learned during this fun time we’re all calling “the Coronavirus Pandemic” but I prefer to call “The Year I Got My Shit Together” is that I’m the same person with my two-toned hair and flesh-colored eyelids that I am when I dye my hair and wear makeup. I’m totally comfortable either way. And the people I’ve come in contact with haven’t told me to return that painting to the museum or stopped letting me shop at their grocery store.

BUT …

I also LIKE knowing that a little moisturizer at night can keep my skin looking healthy. I LIKE watching Dominique’s videos and trying out her techniques. I LIKE going to Melanie and blabbing about what we’ve been doing lately, new television shows, and how I still want to look like Chrissie Hynde.

And I like knowing that if those little horizontal lines on my forehead are bugging me, I know just where to go to get rid of them. And I’m fine with that.

Because the BIGGEST thing that has been reinforced during “TYIGMST” is this: when a virus can cause you a year-long isolation, when lives are lost from disease and hatred, when (you can fill in this blank – there are lots of examples) … then REALLY???? Who gives a damn whether someone has plastic surgery or not, or chooses to have gray hair, or isn’t a size 4, or IS a size 4???

So whether it’s a gift certificate for plastic surgery or a gift certificate to The Cheesecake Factory, the important takeaway here is that you are someone’s “special someone” … and these days, that’s really all that counts.

I Can Do WHAT on My Smartphone?

On By NotYetDeadIn General, Lifelong Learning, Pandemic Fun, Uncategorized4 Comments

I like to think I’m pretty savvy when it comes to using new technology to simplify my life and streamline my work. The key words here are “like to think,” because just when I think I’m at the front of the I’m-just-like-the-kids superuser line, something (or in this case, someone) introduces me to a hack that’s been around for about 15 years – and I’m that old-lady Luddite in a babushka, talking about the glory of the days before machines.

So what is this newfangled technology? Get ready: electronic check deposit (and yes, I can hear some of you laughing … but I’ll bet, and by “bet” I mean “hope,” there are a couple of you out there who, like me, haven’t yet joined the check-selfie crowd).

I was introduced to mobile check deposit yesterday when one of my awesome nephews told me to “just deposit the check with your phone.” EXQUEEZE ME? Deposit it with my phone? Okay, yes, I have seen ads about electronic check deposits, but I haven’t DONE it!! I’ve also seen pictures of people giving their personal banking information to strangers in the hopes that those strangers will defraud them and ruin their lives irrevocably, but I haven’t done that either!

Turns out, of all of the possible online banking features, electronic check deposit (you just snap a picture of the front and signed-back of a check on your smartphone and deposit it using your bank’s mobile app) is actually one of the last to catch on. According to a 2018 Harland Clarke “Mobile Deposit Consumer Survey” (the most recent I could find), about 37% of people age 55+ used the feature at that time.

But COVID-19 added a little oomph to mobile banking usage in the last ten months.

In a September 2020 interview with Karen Webster in PYMNTS.com, Mike Diamond, general manager of digital banking at Mitek, said that we’re unlikely to revert to pre-pandemic behavior when it comes to things like going to a bank branch or, God forbid, using a “germ-laden ATM” just to deposit a check. And once banks show consumers how to use mobile check deposit (and illustrate its safety), we’ll all be using the feature regularly.

And all this doesn’t even take into consideration other digital payment channels, like Venmo, that reinforce predictions that paper checks are going the way of … well, paper.

Okay, I think it’s worth a try – according to everything I’ve read, it’s as safe as other online and mobile banking functions. But if you’re going to join me, here are some important considerations:

  • Download your mobile banking app directly from your bank or credit union’s website to make sure it’s the latest version of the official app
  • Only use banking apps downloaded from your phone’s native app store since these can “enforce certificate pinning to avoid man-in-the-middle” attacks which could happen at unsecured Wi-Fi hotspots. (In regular language … certificate pinning is an extra layer of security that ensures that you’re really going to the site you think you’re going to, and “man-in-the-middle” is that asshole who wants to steal your information)
  • Avoid depositing fraudulent checks by only accepting paper checks from people you know and trust (duh)
  • Don’t use public wifi to access your account
  • Use unique passwords and update them often
  • Utilize multi-factor authentication when logging in (like, a password and a one-time code sent to your smartphone)
  • Lock your smartphone using a unique PIN or biometric information (facial recognition, fingerprint recognition)
  • Keep an eye on your account – go through your deposits, interest payments, and debits on a regular basis.

Also, banks may limit the amount you can deposit and you may experience delays in processing and clearing, there may be fees involved, and some types of checks may be excluded. To avoid delays, banks urge mobile deposit customers to ensure their signature is legible (yes, you still have to endorse the check!!), check images are clear (the app will help you with this), and the amount you enter matches the amount on the check.

And don’t forget to submit/send it (according to lots of articles, this happens … frequently!).

Last, they encourage users to keep the paper check until you’ve double “checked” that it has cleared (check images are not stored on your phone) and then shred the paper check.

So, what do you think? Have you used mobile check deposit technology? Do you think you’ll give it a try? Want me to try it first and report back? Send me a check (any amount is fine, but please keep in mind that my bank limits me to $10,000 per month) and I’ll let you know if it works.

Mitek is a software company that specializes in digital identity verification and mobile capture built on artificial intelligence algorithms and allows people to deposit checks via their mobile phones.

Later, 2020!

On By NotYetDeadIn Coping, General, Pandemic Fun, Uncategorized3 Comments

2020 is almost over, and if there were ever a year in which being “NOT YET DEAD” seems like an accomplishment, it’s this one. We’ve lost loved ones, gotten sick, been scared, stayed home, washed groceries, dealt with “virtual learning,” reimagined two-parent work schedules, and lost jobs. We’re over it.

So when I started writing this blog, I thought I would write about the past, just to get myself out of the “what-a-shitty-year-this-has-been” attitude and back into a more pleasant state of mind. I’d start with the 50s, and although I had only reached age 4 by the end of the decade, I somehow remembered it as being pretty cool. I was ready to write about all the AWESOME things that happened in the past, justify my attitude about 2020, and look forward to the COVID vaccination and a new year!

And then, as it always does when I start looking at the FACTS, I had a nice little meeting with reality. 

I “Googled” the 1950s and, yeah, there were great things like Elvis singing “All Shook Up,” television sets playing “I Love Lucy,” and a booming economy. But while I was shakin’ to Elvis and loving Lucy, my parents and millions of other sentient people (unlike myself) must have been freaking out. Because if it wasn’t bad enough that the Asian Flu pandemic (1957) killed more than 70,000 Americans, parents also had to deal with the fact that polio, a “contagious viral illness that in its most severe form causes nerve injury leading to paralysis, difficulty breathing and sometimes death,” threatened THEIR CHILDREN!!!  

Polio was called “infantile paralysis” because it mostly affected children under five. In 1950, 28,386 severe cases were reported. By 1952, there were 55,000.

Yeah, that’s what they were dealing with. You couldn’t let your children go outside in the summer (IN THE SUMMER!!!) when outbreaks were at their peak. Pools, theatres, schools and churches were closed. Travel was restricted and quarantines were imposed on homes and towns where people were diagnosed.

And here’s a nice little vocab reminder from that time … Iron Lung. Do you remember hearing those words? Maybe it was just my ultra-anxious family, but whoa baby. I sure remember hearing about iron lungs and why they were used, and I was terrified … so I can only imagine how my parents felt!

So, by this point in my little march down memory lane I started to recognize the rose-colored tint I had on the past, especially when I added “Swine Flu,” the second measles outbreaks, HIV/AIDS, whooping cough, and other epidemics. And I hadn’t even TOUCHED on the wars and social injustices witnessed over the six decades I’d been alive.

Maybe I need to adjust my thinking.

If all those awful things happened in the past, why do I remember it as being so great? And so much better than right now?

So I asked my friend Google again, and I got more than 863,000,000 results (evidently the subject has been given some thought!). 

One article in Psychreg gave four reasons that resonated with me:

  1. You look to the past with a sense of certainty that the present can’t provide – basically, we know how it’s going to turn out
  2. As you experience more, it takes more to “wow”
  3. It wasn’t as easy to engage in social comparison in the past – thank you social media
  4. Your perspective of the past has shifted – you have more confidence that you can deal with the things that stressed you in the past, so you tend to look back on them as “they weren’t so bad after all”

Well. 

If the past wasn’t that great at the time, but I could look back on it and think it was fantastic, then would there come a day when I would look back on 2020 with the same positive lens? From doing this little exercise in retrospection, I’m thinking, yes.

But it’s not just that one day I’ll look BACK on all this with a different perspective that makes me feel a little less miserable about 2020. It’s also the fact that I can look at 2020 NOW and think about some of the OTHER experiences this past year brought that were among the best times of my life. 

And according to that same article, here’s how:

  1. “Be able to be comfortable with discomfort. You might not be able to perceive the present moment with the same sense of certainty that you reflect on the past with, but you can improve your ability to be comfortable with the discomfort and uncertainties that the present moment might throw your way.
  2. “Minimise comparison. You’re not here to outdo others, you’re here to live a fulfilling life of your own.
  3. “Manage your expectations. Not everything you do will be the best thing you’ve ever done or the best thing you’ve ever accomplished, and that’s fine. Life is going to have highlight reel moments, and some less than stellar moments.
  4. “Engage in binary thinking. Shift your focus from the quality of what you’re doing to the fact that you’re simply doing it.”

So 2020, sorry I’ve been disrespecting you so much. You really weren’t all that bad.

But COVID-19? I won’t be sorry to see you go!

No Matter How Bored You Are … DON’T CUT YOUR BANGS!

On By NotYetDeadIn General, Lifelong Learning, Looking Good, Pandemic Fun, Uncategorized6 Comments

When I was three years old, I was so excited because I was going to be a flower girl at my aunt’s fancy wedding in Chicago. I had the most beautiful dress, the fanciest shoes, embroidered lacy white bobby socks, … and access to scissors.

So of course, right before the wedding I cut my bangs (and as much hair on my crown as I could reach) right down to the scalp.

I think that was the first time I exercised my penchant for personal hair styling – one that has continued throughout my 64 years, much to the dismay of the PROFESSIONAL stylists who are (un)lucky enough to call me their client.

What have I done to deserve the title “Most Challenging Person Who Has EVER Sat In My Chair”? Well, over the years …

  • I’ve straightened my hair (“Hi Melanie, can you suggest anything for these burns on my scalp?”)
  • I’ve dyed my hair colors that were somehow off the official color spectrum (“Hi, Melanie, can you fix this sort-of-purpley-orange hair?”)
  • I’ve “streaked” my hair (“Hi Melanie, can you do anything about the green color in my hair?”)
  • I’ve cut my hair into a shag (“Hi Melanie, can you even out my layers?”)
  • I’ve, of course, cut my bangs (“Hi Melanie, can you make my hair grow?”)

I’ve even had the nerve to deny doing ANYTHING AT ALL to my hair – while sitting right in front of her all uneven and smelling of formaldehyde.

As you can probably imagine, “Melanie” is the most patient person in the world!! She has not only put up with my scary mistakes, she has actually made me look normal despite whatever challenges I’ve thrown her way. And as time has gone by (and because Melanie assured me she’d see me ANYTIME I wanted to do something so I REALLY didn’t need to do it myself!!!!!) I stopped styling/ruining my own hair and have relied solely on her to keep me looking good (keep in mind what she has to work with).

BUT in March the pandemic hit.

… I think you know where this is going …

FOR NINE MONTHS I HAVE NOT been able to see Melanie. And yep, for some reason, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE, ONLY USE ZOOM ON AUDIO, and barely leave the house at all, I’ve felt compelled to “do” my hair. With lots of time on my hands and access to scissors and an entire array of hair products online, I’ve reawakened my inner stylist. (I even tried to buy professional strength keratin online, but was thwarted by the requirement to enter my professional license number … and YES, I totally considered making one up!)

Let’s just say there’s a reason for the pink wig!

So Melanie – get ready. Because as soon as I get that vaccination, I am heading your way!

A Very COVID Thanksgiving

On By NotYetDeadIn Pandemic Fun, Uncategorized2 Comments

Here we are, the Sunday before Thanksgiving 2020, and I still haven’t fully committed to our Thursday plans. There’s no turkey thawing in the fridge, no potatoes already starting to spoil on the counter because I STILL don’t know how to store potatoes, and no boxes of Stove Top Stuffing just waiting to thrill my guests (there are, however, many empty bags of Ghirardelli Peppermint Bark that really were bought for Thanksgiving but ended up in my mouth).

I’m confused and not quite ready to act.

Which is exactly how I felt this past week as I started writing this post.

Because every time I started to write something “thankful” about the holiday, I thought about the people who had lost jobs, and worse … lost family to this pandemic. And I wasn’t feeling all that grateful.

BUT THEN I thought about how fortunate we are, and how truly thankful I am for our blessings. And I was back to writing about gratitude.

BUT THEN it was back to how upset I am that my family can’t be together this year, how lonely these past months have felt, and how wonderful it would be to see everyone, to meet my newest great-niece (who is already a year old!), to be with friends we love.

And back and forth and back and forth … you get the picture.

Well, after about eight different drafts (a few therapy sessions, some “CALM” mindfulness practices …. Hell I even found Keano and got her advice), it has come down to this: Thanksgiving 2020 just is confusing. At a time I’m supposed to be thankful, I’m also feeling a little bit guilty because I’m just a little bit pissed too.

So, I’m going to accept that there’s room for gratitude AND frustration this year. That maybe nothing is perfect, but nothing is absolutely horrible either.

And wherever you are, with whomever you’re able to share the holiday, I hope it’s a great one. Next year, everyone is welcome at our house!

Now where’s that bottle of Patron?

I’m Just a Singer on a Sofa

On By NotYetDeadIn General, Pandemic Fun, Uncategorized1 Comment

I always wanted to be “a singer in a rock and roll band.” I’ve had more fantasies about being in a band than most Americans have about a final word on the 2020 election. Alas, the one time I was in a band (remember my “Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp” gig?) it turned out that my voice wasn’t quite as up to the challenge as my fantasy was.

That hasn’t stopped me. Put me in a car by myself, and I’m ready for my Vocal Eze throat spray and my sound check. But I never want to take the lead vocal. That’s a hard pass. Just like my girl Melanie M. knows, I’ll take the harmony any day! I’ll be a Pip to your Gladys, 

a Blowfish to your Hootie, 

a Crystal Taliefero to your … well, just about ANYBODY!

But this week, I found a way to combine my need to make sure no one actually HEARS me sing with the excitement of being a part of a “band.” Ladies and gentlemen, introducing “The Sofa Singers.”

The Sofa Singers is a twice-weekly online singing event that brings hundreds of people together from around the world to “spark joy and human connection.” Founded by musician, vocal leader, author, and speaker James Sills as a response to global self-isolation during the Coronavirus outbreak, singers register once a week via Eventbrite then use the free video software Zoom to connect with everyone for 45 minutes of simultaneous singing from the comfort of their own homes.

Thankfully, The Sofa Singers encourages you to “sing as if no-one is listening, because they won’t be.” Due to latency (the delay between video and audio) it’s not possible to synchronize and hear all of the singers at the same time. James therefore gratefully keeps all audio off except for himself and his guitar, while the rest of us belt it out and share the stage with hundreds of fellow singers around the world. 

So this past Tuesday, I went on my first worldwide tour, joining more than 400 people from around the globe (including the US, Canada, the UK, France, Costa Rica, Switzerland, Brazil, Equator, the Netherlands, and Israel) as we sang “I’ll Be There” by the Jackson Five (and although there were probably a few Michaels among the crowd, I was totally Tito!).

What a great way to get through the pandemic, AND fulfill one of my fantasies. 

Now if I can just find “The Sofa Billionaires” and “The Sofa People with Thin Thighs and No Cellulite,” all my fantasies will be fulfilled.